I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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