like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
