Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things