she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
