At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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