nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Alive.
So much puke
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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