we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
