so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
