end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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