It's just like the Real World with babies
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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