Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude i'm inner monologue high
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He has the fingertips of a God
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