I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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