I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
