Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
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