just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
