Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
