I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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