i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
