Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
