I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
