am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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