I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
