I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
