i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
