My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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