I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
