Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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