shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
