I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
