Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
