New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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