So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
