I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Your penis caused this!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
