Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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