Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
