I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
