so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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