I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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