We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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