I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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