you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
