matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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