just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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