just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
