I think I won the penis lottery.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
