Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
