today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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