New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
