We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
