Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.