I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This Twitter User’s Story About Meeting A Notorious Serial Killer Will Leave You Shook
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
20+ Wholesome Memes You Need In Your Life Right Now
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes