Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.