You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
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Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?