Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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