I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
