I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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