I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
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