Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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