no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
