we have pet lesbian snakes
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
