Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
