That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
