So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
